Feminine Wiles
by JamesTheGreater
Summary: What Sam wants, Sam gets. One shot. Seddie.


**This was inspired by a line from Vix23's **_**Stairwells and Steering Wheels**_** (I loved this story)**_**:**_

"'**Beef jerky, cheap beer, and my feminine wiles.' Sam automatically replied as she shoved the entire stick of cheese in her mouth."**

**I wondered about Sam's feminine ways of persuasion. **

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Sam thundered down the stairs from the Icarly studio. She jumped the last three steps.

When she reached the kitchen, she heard Carly call from above. "And put whipped cream on mine!"

Sam called back. "Will do, kiddo!"

She opened the freezer and took out a carton of rocky road ice cream, pausing only to look at the drawing of a flying gerbil Spencer had posted on the fridge. Sam rummaged through the various drawers, letting out a small _yay_ when she located her prize: a rainbow colored ice cream scoop. She grabbed two bowls from the dish washer and proceeded to place two scoops of ice cream in each bowl. She stared at the bowls then placed two more scoops in her bowl. _You can never have too much frozen dairy._ Sam returned the ice cream to the freezer and peered into the fridge. She spotted the whipped cream in the back. As she was leaning in...

"What's up, Sam."

She jerked her head up. Blam! Sam turned, glared at Freddie and rubbing the sore spot on her head.

"Thanks a lot, dorkson. I think my brain is bruised."

Freddie looked sheepish. "Sorry. So what're you doing on this fine Saturday morning?" He flopped down on the couch and flipped the TV on.

Sam answered, grimacing, "Me and Carly are having a girly day."

Freddie raised his eyebrows. "I thought you hated Carly's girly days."

"Yea, but she promised me vast amount of food and only a tiny, minute amount of makeup and giggling", Sam said.

Freddie grinned. "Ah. I see."

Sam joined him on the couch. "And speaking of food", she wrapped an arm around him pulling him closer, "what about you take me to that new Italian place that just opened." She placed her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

Freddie smiled apologetically, "Sorry, but I have a weekend AV meeting tonight."

Sam started sniffling and pouted, her bottom lip trembling, "Please. It's all I've ever wanted."

Freddie snorted. "Drop the act, Sam. It doesn't work anymore."

She jumped up from the couch, glaring. Sam raised a threatening fist. "Fine. How about you take me or else I punch your lights in."

Freddie smirked, "Um...do you remember the contract we signed when we started dating? It said you weren't allowed to beat dates out of me."

Sam dropped her fist and muttered a string of words which included _contract_ followed by a few four letter unmentionables.

Then she froze and slowly raised up the can of whipped cream she still had clenched in her left hand. She looked from the can to Freddie, then back to the can, then back to Freddie. Then she smiled a big smile that didn't reassure Freddie at all.

"Um..Sam. W-what are you g-going to do?"

Sam sat back down. "Nothing, Fredward." She shook the can. "I'm just going to be enjoying this can of whipped cream."

She carefully squirted some on her index finger. She stared at Freddie as she slowly licked up her finger. Freddie was squirming. Sam grinned.

"Mmm. Delicious." Sam squirted a larger quantity on the same finger. She then placed her whole finger inside her mouth and started sucking. Sam closed her eyes and let out some moans. "Ohhh...soooo goooood."

Freddie looked uncomfortable; his face was now a light pink. "I know what you're doing, Sam, and it's not going to work."

Sam said, "I'm not doing anything. I'm simply enjoying this wonderful whipped cream." She stuck the can directly in her mouth, her lips wrapped around the nozzle. She squirted more whipped cream while moaning louder than before. Sam removed the can from her mouth and swallowed the cream in an extremely visible gulp.

Freddie's jeans now had a noticeable bulge. His face was stuck somewhere in between grinning and crying. He begged. "Please, Sam. No more. Please."

Sam replied, "You know what you have to do, Benson."

Freddie croaked out, "Can't...AV...important."

Sam shook her head. "Nope. Wrong answer."

Freddie cried out as Sam sat on his lap. She wriggled her butt for good measure. She felt the bulge grow bigger. Freddie started to sob.

"Fredward. Fredward, look at me when I'm talking to you." Sam grabbed his chin and forced his eyes to connect with hers. "Take. Me. To. Dinner."

Freddie closed his eyes and shook his head. Sam growled in frustration. She flipped herself around and was now straddling him. Freddie opened one eye. "Sam, what are y-"

She sprayed whipped cream all over the right side of his face. From his ear down to his neck, Freddie was covered with sugary goodness. Sam had decided to up the ante. She started from his Adam's apple and slowly started to lick up his neck. Freddie was trembling. She reached his cheek where she licked in little circles. He let out a whimper. Sam sucked on his ear lobe, determined to get every last bit of cream.

He whispered in a strangled voice, "I'll pick you up at 7."

Sam jumped off and smiled, "Good boy." Her smile disappeared. "Now scram. Before I bash you over the head for making me waste this stuff on you."

Freddie fearfully glanced at her serious expression and bolted out the door.

Sam returned to the kitchen. She tossed the empty canister into the trashcan. She brought the ice cream up to the studio.

Carly looked up from her cell phone. "What took you so long?"

Sam smirked as she settled on the second bean bag. "I had a little bidness to take care of."

"Do I want to know?"

"Nope. Oh, and you're out of whipped cream."

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**All reviews appreciated.**


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